Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Another Perfect Wonder

Another perfect wonder joined our family August 18th. Annalise Joy Keller graces our family with more love, beauty and joy, which always amazes me. I (and ALL our family) was so anxious for her to arrive that I experimented with every old wive's tale to bring on labor. No amount of walking or castor oil was going to convince Annie. She was only 2 days past her due date, but it seemed infinitely longer at the time. Now that she's here and I get to gaze adoringly into her face, I have forgotten how miserable I made myself (and Paul) those last few days of my pregnancy.

There's something about a baby that words fail to express. I'll attempt to explain my thoughts, but words won't completely express my meaning. Holding a new baby is as if finally you have found something perfect. I'm not talking only about outer beauty but what lies behind their eyes. I never tired of looking at a baby's sweet face and suddenly the past, present and future seem to be one thing. The past, of course, is seen in identifiable shared traits such as eyes, hair or a smile. The present is in the way a baby grasps your finger or clings to your chest. The future lies in the knowing look in their eyes or the light behind their eyes is how I often describe it. Babies are a perfect wonder to me. I marvel at how such a tiny body holds so much biological and spiritual wonder.

I'm also in awe at how a baby can take plans and turn them on its head. I have learned this 4 times over. I make plans with some flexibility because you can count on this: If you continue to cling to a set of specific expectations about how life should happen, then you miss out celebrating the real thing. My goal is to liberate myself from the oppressive fantasy of a perfect life and enjoy life's perfect wonders -- my family.

Lexi, Emmi, Livi and Annie